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ONE OF THE MOST common questions I hear from parents is, “Is it fair to leave different amounts to my children?” Estate planning can be challenging, and I understand the desire to be fair. However, I believe the answer lies in what I call the Uniqueness Principle: Love your children equally but treat them uniquely.

Each of my children is different—financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Over the years, Judy and I have allocated varying amounts to each of them, considering their individual needs and life circumstances. I believe good stewardship means recognizing these differences and allocating resources accordingly.

Treating children uniquely does not mean showing favoritism. The Bible warns against favoritism (Genesis 37). However, equal love often requires unique treatment. As stewards of God’s resources, we are called to manage them wisely, ensuring our decisions reflect both love and responsibility.

I’m not saying it is better to leave different amounts to children. I am saying that the key to making a wise decision is following a systematic process. When making wealth transfer plans, I encourage parents to ask themselves three key questions:

What would be the worst possible outcome if we leave this amount to this child?
How serious is this outcome?
How likely is it to happen?

The purpose of these questions is not to arrive at a predetermined answer. You may treat your children equally or disproportionately, but the goal is to guide you toward a well-thought-out decision.

I also recognize that many parents worry about resentment among their children if they don’t divide assets evenly. The best way to handle this is through clear communication. Open and honest conversations, while you’re alive, can help your children understand your reasoning and prevent misunderstandings. Explaining your heart and thought process fosters unity and clarity. Ultimately, wealth transfer should reflect God’s wisdom, not just human emotions. Factors such as financial need, spiritual maturity, and life circumstances should all be prayerfully considered.

So, should you leave different amounts to your children? Maybe. Maybe not. The key is to seek God’s wisdom, ask the right questions, and make decisions that honor Him and bless your family in the best way possible.

This article was published in our Faithful Steward magazine, a quarterly publication filled with encouraging stories, biblical teaching, and practical tools to help you grow as a wise and joyful giver. If you'd like to begin receiving Faithful Steward, consider becoming a FaithFi partner.

Is it Okay to Leave Different Amounts to My Kids?

By Ron Blue

September 5, 2025

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