When Giving Becomes About Us

Have you ever felt a quiet sense of pride after giving, like you were just a little more faithful than others?

When our giving becomes a way to elevate ourselves rather than glorify God, we’ve missed the heart of generosity—and possibly much more.

Hidden Motives: Giving to Look Good

Not all giving flows from a pure heart. Some of the most dangerous motivations are those that appear outwardly good but inwardly reveal pride. One of the most deceptive tendencies is the desire to give to feel morally superior.

It’s the impulse to give to prove we’re spiritually ahead. To show God—or others—that we’ve got it right. But when generosity becomes a way to elevate ourselves rather than glorify God, we miss the true heart of giving.

Jesus addressed this directly in Luke 18:

“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God.” (Luke 18:10–14) Why the Pharisee Missed the Mark

Let that sink in: Jesus says the humble tax collector—not the tithing, fasting Pharisee—went home justified. That means the Pharisee, despite his religious performance, was not right with God. He wasn’t saved.

Why? Because he trusted in himself. His giving became a way to elevate his righteousness and look down on others. This echoes Jesus’ sobering words in Matthew 7, where many say, “Lord, Lord, didn’t we do all these things in your name?” And He replies, “I never knew you.”

They did religious things—even impressive ones—but their hearts weren’t surrendered to Christ. When we give to make ourselves look good, we miss the heart of the gospel and risk trusting in our performance rather than His finished work.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling joy after giving. Scripture tells us God loves a cheerful giver. But if that joy turns into spiritual pride—if we start comparing ourselves to others or feeling superior because of how much we give—we’ve crossed a line. Deuteronomy 8 warns against this mindset:

“You may say to yourself, ‘My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.’ But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth…” (vv. 17–18) The True Hero of Our Generosity

The antidote to self-righteousness is remembering the source. Everything we have—even the ability to give—comes from God. We’re not the heroes of our generosity stories. He is. Jesus also warns in Matthew 6:

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them… When you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets… Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.” (vv. 1–2)

If we give to be noticed, our gift isn’t truly for God—it’s for us. And any praise we receive in return will be our only reward.

So, what does humble generosity look like? It looks like giving quietly, even sacrificially, without expecting praise. It flows from gratitude, not superiority. It reflects Christ, not ourselves.

May we display the humility of John the Baptist, who, when others worried that Jesus was gaining more attention than him, simply said: “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30) Three Steps to Combat Pride in Giving

So, what do you do if you recognize pride in your giving?

• First, bring it to the Lord. Confess it honestly. His grace is enough to cleanse and correct us.
• Second, refocus on gratitude. The most humble givers are those who remember how much they’ve been forgiven.
• Third, ask God to help you give in ways that reinforce humility. That might mean giving anonymously or choosing to give where no one will see or praise you. Before each gift, simply pray: “Lord, may this reflect You, not me.”

A Heart Set on Christ

When it comes to giving, the temptation to impress others—or even to reassure ourselves—can be strong. But biblical generosity isn’t a performance. It’s a response. A response to grace. A response to mercy. A response to the overwhelming love of a God who gave everything for us.

True generosity flows from a heart that knows it has nothing to prove and nothing to earn. It doesn’t seek recognition. It doesn’t need applause. It simply desires to reflect the heart of Christ, who humbled Himself and gave freely, joyfully, and sacrificially.

If you’ve noticed pride creeping into your giving, don’t despair. Let that conviction lead you—not to shame—but to the foot of the cross. There, we find the freedom to give from a place of joy, not pressure. From humility, not superiority. From gratitude, not guilt.

Ask God to shape your giving into something that glorifies Him. Choose generosity that draws attention not to your faithfulness, but to His. And remember: the most beautiful gifts are often the quiet ones, given with no fanfare, out of a heart that simply says, “Thank You.”

Because at the end of the day, generosity isn’t about what we’ve done. It’s about who God is—and how deeply He’s changed us. If you'd like to reflect more on what it means to live generously and humbly, consider becoming a FaithFi partner. Our Faithful Steward magazine is filled with encouraging stories, biblical teaching, and practical tools to help you grow as a wise and joyful giver.