Managing Money Tensions in Marriage

Faith & Finance with Rob West

“The handling of finances is one of the major emotional battlegrounds of any marriage. Lack of finances is seldom the issue. The root problem seems to be an unrealistic and immature view of money.” That’s a quote from David Augsburger’s book, The Meaning of Money in Marriage. If money is a source of conflict in your relationship, stay tuned. We’ll explain how you can restore peace.

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Show Notes

MONEY ISN’T THE PROBLEM

Ask any couple what causes the most stress in their marriage, and they’ll probably say “money”. However, the problem isn’t usually money itself – or even lack of money. No, financial tension in a marriage more often springs from bad attitudes, unrealistic expectations, and wrong assumptions about how to handle money.

Part of the problem is that everything has a money angle. Most of our plans, desires, hopes, and dreams involve some kind of financial activity. That means you’re constantly facing emotional questions about how to spend, save, borrow, earn and give your money. And chances are, you and your spouse don’t always agree about those things.

On top of that, you have personality differences. Maybe he’s a saver, she’s a spender, or she loves yard sales, he prefers buying new, or he wants to borrow to buy a car now, while she wants to wait to pay cash.

All this disagreement can stem from childhood experiences, long-standing expectations, or even misunderstandings about how finances really work. Put it all together, and it's a recipe for conflict.

If you’re married, you surely know what we’re talking about!

There’s another factor at work here, in the matter of money and marriage. As we’ve said so often, our attitudes and actions relating to money are an indication of what’s in our hearts. Sinful attitudes like greed, selfishness, anger, and resentment can affect how you feel about money, and how you relate to your spouse about the family finances.

Let us offer four recommendations that we hope will change the way you relate to your spouse about money.

First, remember why God brought you together. Christian marriage is a testimony to the world of the love of Christ for his church. It’s meant to be a picture of peace and godly unity. Christian marriage is also an opportunity for spiritual growth. Proverbs 27:17 puts it this way: As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Being sharpened by your spouse in the area of finances can be uncomfortable, but it’s worth the effort to work things out. That brings up our second recommendation.

Managing Money Tensions in Marriage

Show Notes

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