Puritan poet Anne Bradstreet once wrote, “Wisdom without an inheritance is better than an inheritance without wisdom.”
Every parent hopes the resources they leave behind will bless their children. But a financial inheritance can have very different effects depending on the person receiving it. That is why wise wealth transfer requires more than simply deciding how much to leave—it requires careful thought, prayer, and an understanding of each child’s unique circumstances.
Ron Blue, co-founder of Kingdom Advisors and longtime teacher on biblical stewardship, calls this the uniqueness principle.
Equal Love Doesn’t Always Require Equal Treatment
Studies show that many parents divide their estates equally among their children. There is certainly nothing wrong with that approach, but Ron encourages parents not to make equality the automatic default.
As he explains, God loves each of His children equally, but He often treats them uniquely. The same can be true within a family.
Children may grow up in the same home and sit around the same dinner table, yet adulthood can take them in very different directions. They may marry differently, parent differently, pursue different careers, experience job losses, accumulate different levels of wealth, or develop very different approaches to money.
Those differences can matter when determining how an inheritance should be passed down.
The question is not simply, “How can I divide everything evenly?” A better question may be, “How can I steward these resources in a way that truly benefits each child?”
Three Questions to Ask Before Leaving an Inheritance
When Ron and his wife, Judy, began thinking seriously about their own estate plan, they used three questions to evaluate what an inheritance might mean for each of their five children.
Imagine giving a particular amount of money to a particular child. How could that money negatively affect his or her life?
For one child, the concern may be minimal. The money might simply be given away.
For another, however, a large inheritance could create tension within a marriage, reinforce unhealthy financial habits, reduce motivation to work, or create other unintended consequences.
2. How serious would that outcome be?
Not every negative possibility carries the same weight. Some may be inconvenient but manageable. Others could damage relationships, character, or financial stability.
Parents should carefully consider the seriousness of each potential consequence.
3. How likely is it to happen?
Finally, consider probability. A possible problem is different from a probable one.
Together, these questions provide a framework for thinking beyond percentages and dollar amounts to the actual impact an inheritance could have.
Your Estate Plan Should Change as Life Changes
Another important part of the uniqueness principle is recognizing that circumstances rarely remain the same.
When Ron and Judy first began asking these questions decades ago, their children were at very different stages of life than they are today. Careers changed. Marriages developed. Families grew. Financial circumstances shifted.
As a result, Ron says the answers they would give today are very different from the answers they would have given 25 years ago.
That is an important reminder: An estate plan should not necessarily be a one-time decision.
As circumstances change, parents may need to revisit both their assumptions and their plans.
Don’t Pass Wealth Without Passing Wisdom
Underlying Ron’s approach is one of his most important principles: Don’t pass wealth unless you pass wisdom.
Wealth does not automatically produce wisdom. In fact, money can magnify whatever attitudes and habits already exist.
Wisdom, however, can help someone steward wealth faithfully—and even create additional resources through diligence, generosity, patience, and wise decision-making.
That means preparing the next generation involves far more than preparing legal documents.
Parents can begin transferring wisdom long before they transfer wealth by talking openly about stewardship, generosity, work, contentment, financial decision-making, and God’s ownership of everything.
The greatest inheritance may not be the money children eventually receive, but the biblical principles they learned while their parents were still living.
Faithfulness Matters More Than Fairness
The uniqueness principle does not mean every estate should be divided differently. After thoughtful consideration, parents may still conclude that an equal distribution is the wisest choice.
The point is not that equal is wrong or unequal is better.
The point is to avoid allowing cultural expectations, guilt, fear of conflict, or simple habit to make the decision for you. Instead, approach wealth transfer prayerfully and deliberately.
Ask what each child’s circumstances are. Consider what opportunities or challenges an inheritance might create. Think carefully about the consequences. Revisit those decisions as life changes.
Ultimately, wealth transfer is an act of stewardship. The resources we leave behind still belong to God, and our responsibility is to manage them according to His wisdom rather than merely following human expectations.
Before asking, “How can I make everything equal?” consider asking a deeper question:
“What would faithfulness look like for each person God has entrusted to my care?”
On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:
I’m 60, own two rental properties outright, rent an apartment in Chicago for $2,100 a month, and have about $1.4 million in savings and investments. My rental income is seasonal, but I haven’t had to draw from my portfolio yet. Is continuing to rent in Chicago financially reasonable, and is $1.4 million likely enough to support me long term?
My wife and I are buying a new home and have about 60% of the purchase price in cash. We need the remaining 40% for only 60 to 90 days until our current paid-off home sells. Would a HELOC, bridge loan, or another short-term financing option make the most sense?
Our 22-year-old daughter lives at home and has very few expenses or responsibilities. Would it be biblical and wise to start charging her rent, and how should we determine a fair amount?
Remember, you can call in to ask your questions every weekday at (800) 525-7000. Faith & Finance is also available on Moody Radio Network and American Family Radio. You can also visit FaithFi.com to connect with our online community and partner with us as we help more people live as faithful stewards of God’s resources.
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