The wedding season is nearly upon us, and if you’re planning one, you’re probably knee-deep in details. But experience shows that one of the most important things is often overlooked. That is, how will you and your spouse handle money? We’ll talk about that today with Howard Dayton.
The wedding season is nearly upon us, and if you’re planning one, you’re probably knee-deep in details. But experience shows that one of the most important things is often overlooked. That is, how will you and your spouse handle money? We’ll talk about that today with Howard Dayton.
Howard Dayton is the former host of this program, and he literally wrote the book on this topic. It’s called Money and Marriage God’s Way.
The very first thing he advises couples planning a wedding to do is to give complete disclosure with their finances. You should be fully transparent with your financial situation. Make this commitment to each other— no secrets about money!
Swap your financial statements that disclose all your assets and debts. Trade credit reports and credit scores and openly talk over any financial struggles you’ve experienced.
When you’re honest— even if there’s bad news to deal with— it builds trust with your future spouse. Your fiancé will respect and appreciate your integrity. Ignorance about your financial circumstances is definitely not bliss.
TALK IT THROUGH
The next item is talking through your financial goals, values, and expectations.
You want to get to know each other. Learn each other's financial personalities, values, and attitudes. What is it that you want to accomplish in your economic lives as an individual and as a couple? What things are most important to you? You need to have that conversation.
FOUNDATIONAL QUESTIONS
Here are some important questions to ask one another:
● Who’s going to be the breadwinner, one or both?
● If both are breadwinners, what happens when we have children – does the wife stay home to raise the children?
● What percentage of our income do you want to give? Who do you prefer to give to-church, ministries, the poor and needy, etc.?
● How much of our income do you want to save?
● What’s your attitude toward debt? When should we use it? Is paying off debt a very high priority for you?
● Who will handle the bookkeeping and paying the bills?
● And how often should we meet to review our finances?
REGULAR REVIEWS
It’s important to regularly review your finances together. Howard likes to call this a weekly “money date.” That’s when you get together to go over the week's income and spending, and how well you’ve kept to the budget, and whether you need to make adjustments. It’s an important tool for staying on track because it makes the spouses accountable to each other.
UNITY QUESTIONS
Here are some other critical questions that can help create unity in your marriage:
● How do you see us becoming one with our finances? How should we combine our finances? Is there any sense of “my money“ and “your money“? If so, how can we overcome this challenge?
When you marry, the Lord wants the two of you to become one in every area, including your finances. So, I highly recommend you combine your resources and work together to save and pay off any debt as quickly as possible.
● What are your expectations concerning our lifestyle – what do you want for a home, furniture, cars, clothes, vacations, and gifts?
● And what do you think we should spend on our wedding?
A couple more key tips:
You need to develop a spending plan together. It’s very helpful to develop an estimated spending plan together. You’ll learn a lot about each other.
And you need to learn God‘s way of handling money. One of the most important steps an engaged couple can take together is to learn what the Lord says about handling finances.
On this program, Rob also answers listener questions:
How do you determine the proper way to estate plan for your family?
When does it make sense to take funds to pay off a mortgage after the death of a spouse?
Remember, you can call in to ask your questions most days at (800) 525-7000. Also, visit our website at FaithFi.com where you can join the FaithFi Community, and give as we expand our outreach.
