Faith & Finance with Rob West
Money and marriage—two things God designed to bless us, but they can also be two of the greatest sources of stress. What if we turned financial conflict into connection? Dr. Shane Enete joins us today to share six creative ways couples can build stronger relationships by having intentional financial conversations—what he calls “money dates.” Dr. Shane Enete is an Associate Professor of Finance at Biola University and founded the Biola Center for Financial Planning. He is also the author of the book Whole Heart Finances: A Jesus-Centered Guide to Managing Your Money with Joy.
Money and marriage—two things God designed to bless us, but they can also be two of the greatest sources of stress. What if we turned financial conflict into connection?
Dr. Shane Enete joins us today to share six creative ways couples can build stronger relationships by having intentional financial conversations—what he calls “money dates.”
Dr. Shane Enete is an Associate Professor of Finance at Biola University and founded the Biola Center for Financial Planning. He is also the author of the book Whole Heart Finances: A Jesus-Centered Guide to Managing Your Money with Joy.Many couples avoid conversations about money out of fear. A study of 2,000 couples found that half of them were uncomfortable discussing money because they worried it would lead to conflict. The irony is that by avoiding those talks, the conflict only deepens.
On average, couples argue about money 58 times a year. But what if, instead of waiting for issues to flare up, you set aside regular time to talk about your finances together—proactively and prayerfully?
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But also, why not make it a date? Dating can be a lot of fun if you’re intentional. So why not combine something enjoyable with something that’s often uncomfortable? When you connect in a fun environment, even money talk becomes more meaningful.
The key is consistency. Whether it’s over dinner, coffee, or a quiet walk, having a regular rhythm of financial connection helps you stay on the same page as a couple—and deepens your trust.
Every person brings a financial backstory into marriage—habits, fears, and attitudes shaped by family and early experiences.
Think of it as your money autobiography. Reflect on what you learned about money growing up, what messages you received from your parents, and how those experiences influence your decisions today.
Take your spouse out for dinner and share those stories. You’ll gain empathy and understanding for each other’s perspectives. When you know your partner’s money story, their spending or saving habits make a lot more sense.
Generosity is one of the most unifying acts a couple can experience. Here are a few ways to make generosity a shared journey:
This one’s both literal and figurative! Instead of going out, stay home and cook a meal together—or grab takeout for a picnic. Use the relaxed environment to talk about your budget rhythm:
Debt can carry emotional weight, so create a peaceful setting for this conversation. A spa day is perfect. It’s relaxing—and you can often find affordable day passes.
While you unwind, discuss:
This isn’t about blame. It’s about caring for each other and agreeing on a plan that both of you believe in.
Couples should view estate planning as an act of love. When you prepare a will, name a guardian, or establish a power of attorney, you’re doing something deeply selfless—caring for others even after you’re gone.
Spend a date identifying:
Money dates are about far more than numbers. They’re about connection, empathy, and shared purpose. When couples talk about money in ways that honor God and each other, they grow in wisdom—and unity.
When you come together around money with openness and grace, you draw closer not just to each other, but to the heart of God.
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