Are You A “Rich Young Ruler”? How Priorities and Identity Reveal Heart

“Jesus is saying that the greatest concern of life is to place our relationship with God first, and everything else second.” (Oswald Chambers)

Don't stop reading just because you are not "rich" or not "young" or not a "ruler"--being a “Rich Young Ruler” is not about status or circumstances. It is about your heart, as reflected in your primary identity.

"Are you a rich young ruler?" is a question every faith-driven leader must honestly assess if they are to lead an organization with faithful integrity in alignment with Biblical beliefs, principles, and priorities (what I will call business a better way).

This commentary was prompted by one of the segments in the recent Faith Driven Entrepreneur global conference. It was a conversation between Pat Lencioni and Henry Kaestner in which Lencioni vulnerably admitted that he wasn’t sure whether he would step out in faith if doing so could result in the loss of his business. He was asking himself the rich young ruler question. The Biblical Rich Young Ruler Story

If you've read the Bible, attended Bible studies, or listened to sermons, you have probably heard the story of the "rich young ruler.” It is one of the "biggies."

Rather than try to summarize it myself, I decided to ask BibleChat – a new AI-driven engine that will answer any questions about the Bible (give it a try). Here is its answer:

The rich young ruler is a character mentioned in the New Testament of the Bible, specifically in the books of Matthew, Mark, and Luke. He approached Jesus and asked what he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus told him to keep the commandments, to which the young man claimed he had done since his youth. Jesus then challenged him to sell all his possessions, give to the poor, and follow Him. The young man went away saddened because he was very wealthy and could not bring himself to part with his possessions (Matthew 19:16-22, Mark 10:17-22, Luke 18:18-23). The story serves as a lesson about the importance of prioritizing God above material wealth.

Although I don't really know what happened to this man (he is never mentioned again in the Bible), everybody seems to assume he did not give everything away (if he did, he was certainly not a "joyful giver"). BibleChat is more honest when asked if he gave away his wealth:

The narrative does not provide any follow-up or indication of a change in the young man's actions. Therefore, we cannot definitively say whether he eventually gave away his wealth or not. The story serves as a lesson about the challenge of prioritizing God above material possessions and the potential obstacles that wealth can present in following Jesus.

In both responses, BibleChat nails the key to determining if you are a rich young ruler – do you truly "prioritize" God?

What Do You Prioritize?

The word "priority" has an interesting history, and it plays an integral part in this commentary. In his book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, Greg McKeown observes:

The word priority came into the English language in the 1400s. It was singular. It meant the very first or prior thing. It stayed singular for the next five hundred years.

Similarly, the Bible suggests a person can have only one "priority.” In Matthew 6:24, we are told, "No one can serve two masters."

Notwithstanding the historical root of the word and the Biblical warning, today, we often talk about having numerous priorities--plural priorities. "Plural priorities" are a reality of how we use the word "priority" today, how we think about our lives, and how we think about leading an organization.

Priority problems underlie business in the way of the world (what I will call business as usual) and the brokenness caused by business as usual. They are also at the root of many of the trials, fears, mistakes, and missed opportunities we face in our personal lives.

Equal Priorities Problem

While a person (or an organization) can have "plural" priorities, they can't have equal priorities. The nature of something having priority is that it is prior to every other "priority" other than any priority that ranks even higher. At the end of the day, there can only be one primary priority that will win out--other "priorities" usually get reduced to being "means" or "strategies,” which means they will be sacrificed if they no longer serve the higher priority or if they jeopardize the higher priority.

Real Priority Problem

A person (or an organization) may say they have one priority, but they are actually pursuing a different priority--or they may think they are pursuing equal priorities but there is a "real" priority.

Disordered Priorities Problem

A person (or an organization) has disordered priorities when they set priorities that are not aligned with Biblical priorities.

For a faith-driven leader to assess the "Are you a rich young ruler?" question, the leader must make an honest assessment of their priorities and, most importantly, their ultimate priority.

Priority in the Bible People often cite Matthew 6:24 ("no one can serve two masters") when talking about Biblical priority, but that principle weaves its way through many Biblical stories.

• God asks Abraham to choose – God or Abraham's son Isaac.
• Jesus asks the rich young ruler to choose – God or money.
• In Luke 14:26 Jesus tells his followers they must choose – God or father/mother/wife/children/brothers/sisters/life ("If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.")

In commenting on Matthew, Oswald Chambers observes:

Jesus is saying that the greatest concern of life is to place our relationship with God first and everything else second.

I believe priority in the Bible is about heart.

• God didn't actually want Abraham to kill Isaac--God just wanted to know that Abraham prioritized God over his son and was willing to sacrifice him.
• We don't know what Jesus would have done if the rich young ruler had prioritized God and been willing to liquidate his assets. He might have told him to give just a percentage away and keep stewarding the rest in a way that glorified God.
• Jesus isn't really telling us to hate our family or our life--he is saying that we must prioritize God by being willing to sacrifice our relationships and even our lives if God calls us in a direction that puts those at risk.

I also believe priority in the Bible is "all or nothing.” There is no grey. God did not give Abraham the option of just giving Isaac a little cut. Jesus didn't negotiate with the rich young ruler over a specified percentage or tell his disciples they might have to have a slight disagreement with family members. God calls people of Biblical faith to make Him THE priority.

"Grey" can feel good because it is better than black. It also feels good because it will get affirmed--even from the church and faith community. Grey is still black — the way of the world. Remember 1 John 2:15: “Do not love the world or the things in the world.” Grey may be better than black, but it is not the heart to which people of Biblical faith are called and commanded--not the priority required for faithful integrity.

In the words and commentary of Oswald Chambers: "The greatest enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but good choices which are not quite good enough."

Understanding Your Heart

The rich young ruler followed all the rules, which in the Matthew account even included the great commandment to love his neighbor as himself. Actions do not necessarily reveal the heart of a faithful leader (or organization) – their true priority.

Larry Crabb and Frederick Buechner have insightful observations:

Larry Crabb: Biblical principles are reduced to basic principles of the world when they're followed in order to gain the "better life'" we demand. Frederick Buechner: A man can be basically interested in nothing so much as feathering his own nest and still give generously to the Cancer Fund, be on the Board of Deacons, run for town office, and have a soft spot in his heart for children and animals. I believe identity is a clue to a person's heart--to what "god" is truly their priority. There are really two gods from which to choose--the God of the Bible or the "gods" of this world. Although "gods" of the world come in various forms—wealth, success, happiness, power, influence, fame, leisure--I believe they are all manifestations of the spirit of mammon (mammon is not money, and if you are unsure about the evil of mammon, look back at Andy Crouch’s chilling description of the demonic spirit of mammon from the 2022 Faith Driven Investor global conference).

For a faith-driven leader assessing their heart, I want to focus on two identity choices--a WHAT identity or a WHO identity. Every faith-driven leader has both, but the question is which one is their primary identity and which one is a secondary identity.

Although a person can only have one primary identity, they can have many secondary identities. For example, a person can be a Christian, a businessperson, a wife (or husband), a mother (or father), a daughter (or son), all at the same time.

But when push comes to shove, there is one identity they view, consciously or subconsciously, as the primary identity—the one they will protect, even if it means sacrificing success in their secondary ones. Our self-worth and value are wrapped up in whatever we see as our primary identity. Any primary identity other than the Biblical priority of a child of God or a follower of Jesus is an RYR identity. Dr. Skip Moen beautifully describes the facets of that Biblical identity:

I am a child of God. I am an adopted son. I am a member of Abraham’s nation. I am beloved by the Father. I am a follower of His chosen Messiah. I am part of the family. I am a citizen of the Kingdom. I am a resident alien tasked with repairing a broken world.

How Identity Shapes Behavior

With a WHO identity, the faith-driven leader's primary identity is WHO they are in relation to God (e.g., a child of God or follower of Jesus). With a WHAT identity, the faith-driven leader's primary identity is WHAT they do in the world's eyes (e.g., a businessperson, lawyer, barista, Uber driver, nurse, banker, consultant, teacher, mechanic). Let's compare how a WHO identity and a WHAT identity might impact a faith-driven leader’s behavior.

With a WHO Identity

She will see herself as "a Christian engaged in the business", with faith being the primary identity and business being an activity in which that identity is lived out.

She may have to make sacrifices in her worldly business success to follow God's principles and priorities.

• WHAT she does will be determined by God's leading rather than its potential for worldly success.

• WHO she is where God places her will be more important than WHERE God places her.

• She will wear WHAT SHE DOES lightly and will be able to change disguise at a moment's notice.

This is a picture of a faithful leader. They accept the "success" that comes with obedience to God's call and commands.

With a WHAT Identity

They may see themselves as a "Christian businessperson", with faith being merely a modifier describing how they carry out their primary identity as a businessperson. There are numerous problems that can flow from work being his primary identity and source of worth and value.

• They may sacrifice the two great commandments (love your God and love your neighbor) or the pursuit of God's Kingdom and His righteousness to achieve "success" in their primary identity as a businessperson (possibly rationalizing that they are still doing better than the people with no faith inspiration).
• They will hold on very tightly to their worldly identity.
• They will always need a worldly identity to latch on to.
• They may be "good," but they probably won't be "Godly".
• They may operate with "integrity,” but it won't be "faithful integrity"

Most importantly, because a person can only have one primary identity, and they will sacrifice their secondary identities to ensure success in their primary identity, their identity is grounded in things like faith, family, and fitness will be compromised or even sacrificed to ensure success at work.

This is a picture of a faith-driven leader with a WHAT identity – a rich young ruler. They will compromise their faith, ever so slightly, to ensure heightened worldly success, rationalizing that their faith remains much better than most of the broken world.

Maintaining a WHO Identity in a Broken World

I do not mean to suggest that maintaining a WHO identity and avoiding becoming a rich young ruler is easy. We live in a fallen world in which most people (and organizations) operate according to the priorities and systems of the kingdom of the world. A purely linear or hierarchical approach to implementing Biblical priorities misses the reality of our world.

A faith-driven leader may be a husband, wife, father, or mother in a world in which marriage is viewed as a contractual rather than a covenantal relationship, and divorce is seen as an easy and acceptable path to the "happier" life a person deserves. A faith-driven leader of a business is also a “business leader” building a business in the world. They face pressure from analysts, markets, investors, employees, and customers. Sustainability comes with financial metrics to track and hurdles to achieve. The world of business measures success in terms of profit and growth.

I believe there are four keys to a faith-driven leader successfully ordering priorities, personally and professionally, to avoid the path of the rich young ruler: Humility, Trust, Patience, and Prayer.

Humility. Navigating the tension between the world's priorities and God's priorities requires Godly wisdom, and humility is a key to wisdom. The link between humility and wisdom can be seen in Proverbs 11:2:

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

God is the source of all wisdom, and the Bible tells us that God will give wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5). The faith-driven leader who operates without the humility to recognize the need for God's wisdom and the need to pray for guidance is destined to run aground on the rocks of the “priorities” dilemma. An honest assessment of the "real" priority in the leader's life (and an organization's culture) absolutely requires humility and will yield wisdom.

Trust. Of course, even the faith-driven leader who has the humility to recognize the need for God’s wisdom will only get the benefit of that wisdom by trusting God's process, timing, and outcome:

• Process: God's process is often counter-intuitive and counter-cultural.
• Timing: God's timing often seems excruciatingly slow.
• Outcome: God's best outcome (the “all these things” promised in Matthew 6:33) may not be the world's best outcome.

Prayer. The importance of prayer in pursuing Biblical priorities seems so obvious. Unfortunately, many faith-driven leaders do not associate God with business decisions. Oswald Chambers observed:

In spiritual issues, it is customary for us to put God first, but we tend to think that it is inappropriate and unnecessary to put Him first in the practical, everyday issues of our lives.

God’s wisdom comes through prayer. Of course, praying for a particular process, timing and outcome is NOT praying for God’s wisdom, and ignoring God's wisdom to pursue your own process, timing or outcome is NOT wise--it is choosing disordered priorities.

Patience. It is difficult to read the Bible and not walk away feeling woefully impatient. God's story is full of people who patiently waited and persevered (the first cousin of patience) for a LONG time – a VERY LONG time. Remember Abraham (waited 25 years for Isaac), Jacob (waited 14 years to marry Rachel), and the most patient of all, Moses (40 years in exile and then 40 years in the desert).

There are also stories of characters who got impatient and tried to short-circuit God's timing (and God was not pleased). Remember Sarah (Ishmael was NOT the fulfillment of God's promise) and Saul (he got impatient and offered the burnt offering himself – NOT a blessing after all).

Choosing, ordering, and balancing Biblical priorities is "playing the long game", and that takes Biblical patience (and perseverance).

Joining Pat Lencioni in honestly asking yourself the rich young ruler question is the first step toward choosing the priority, the primary identity, and the heart that will glorify God, which is, after all, the only reason we are here. *Images used with permission. * Copyright © 2023 Integrous LLC. Integriosity is a registered Service Mark of Integrous LLC.