How Should a Christian Respond When Someone Owes Them Money?

FEW THINGS CAN TEST a relationship like the issue of money. Whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or even a fellow believer, the weight of unpaid debt can create tension and division. When someone owes us money, it’s easy to feel frustrated, impatient, or even resentful. However, as followers of Christ, we are called to a higher standard—one that reflects grace, wisdom, and trust in God’s provision.

Instead of allowing financial matters to become a source of bitterness, we can use them as an opportunity to demonstrate Christ’s love and seek peace. While the world might encourage us to demand repayment at any cost, Scrip­ture calls us to respond with compassion, integrity, and a focus on eternal values.

Seek Understanding and Compassion Before jumping to conclusions, it’s important to seek understanding and show compassion. Proverbs 14:29 reminds us, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” The person who owes you money may be facing unexpected hardships, such as job loss, medical expenses, or other financial difficulties.

Instead of immediately demanding repayment, consider reaching out with kindness and em­pathy. Ask about their circumstanc­es and whether they need support or flexibility. Showing compassion can open the door to honest conversations and demonstrate Christ’s love in action.

Good communication is key when dealing with financial matters. Matthew 18:15 encourages believers to address issues directly and privately: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”

If the debt is outstanding, reach out in a gracious manner. Avoid accusatory language and instead express your expec­tations clearly:  

• Politely remind them of the agreement.
• Ask if they have a repayment plan in mind.
• Offer potential solutions, such as partial payments or an extended deadline.  

If repayment seems unlikely, prayerfully consider whether debt forgiveness is an option. If the debtor is an unbeliever and the debt is relatively small, choosing this approach may be the best way to preserve the relationship while demon­strating a Christ-like witness to them. Luke 6:30 advises, “Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back.” This does not mean enabling irresponsibility but rather reflecting Christ’s generosity and kindness. It helps us gain perspective by rec­ognizing that the greater priority is for the person to come to know Jesus personally.

This, however, does not mean forsaking wisdom. Christians should be wise when lending money and seeking counsel from trusted advisors to ensure they make prudent decisions (Proverbs 11:14).

Consider whether lending money in the future is the best way to help the person moving forward.

Continuing to lend money to someone who has struggled to meet financial obligations in the past may actually be doing them more harm than good, as it prevents them from experiencing the natural consequences of their financial decisions. Healthy boundaries protect both parties and help prevent future relational strain.

Pursue Reconciliation Over Retribution Romans 12:18 encourages, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Financial disputes can damage relationships if not handled with care, so as Christians, our goal should always be reconciliation, not retaliation.

If this situation arises between two believers, Scripture provides a process for us to follow in Matthew 18:15-17. As mentioned earlier, the pro­cess begins by addressing the person privately, allowing them to resolve the issue without involving others.

If private conversations do not resolve the issue, a wise next step is to seek mediation from a trusted church leader or financial coun­selor. Taking this approach helps ensure that the delicate situation is handled with a focus on peace and reconciliation.

If the debtor still decides not to address the problem, church leaders may need to intervene to address the situation and encourage resto­ration. Matthew 18:16-17 states that if the person refuses to listen even to the church, they are to be treated as an outsider. This step is not about punishment but about helping them recognize their responsibility and encouraging repentance.

While neglecting to repay a debt might not seem like a signif­icant issue to some, Psalm 37:21 offers a sobering perspective:

“The wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives.”

It’s also crucial to remain stead­fast in prayer throughout this type of situation. Seek God’s guidance to soften hearts, grant wisdom, and bring about a resolution that hon­ors Him. Prayer will also help you release any lingering frustration and find peace in trusting God’s sovereignty over the outcome.

When Legal Action Is an Option

In 1 Corinthians 6:1-8, the Apostle Paul advises believers against taking fellow Christians to secular courts, urging them to seek resolution within the church instead. However, when dealing with an unbeliever, legal action may be necessary.

For example, taking legal action may be necessary if you own a business, and non-payment puts your company’s sta­bility and your employees’ livelihoods at risk. Romans 13:1-7 affirms that God institutes governing authorities to uphold justice, and if legal action becomes necessary, it should be pursued with a heart of fairness rather than revenge.

Throughout this process, Christians must continually ex­amine their motives, ensuring they are not driven by materi­alism or pride but by the desire for justice. While legal action may be permissible in some cases, Christians should consider it a last resort, ensuring they have sought reconciliation and approached the matter with humility, grace, and a desire for justice rather than personal gain.

When someone owes you money, it can be a challenging and emotional experience. However, our response as follow­ers of Christ should reflect His grace, patience, and wisdom. Whether it means extending forgiveness, setting boundaries, or seeking reconciliation, we must always prioritize relationships over financial gain.

Money is temporary, but our testimony and witness for Christ have eternal significance. Trust God to provide, guide, and work through the situation, knowing that His justice and provision far outweigh any financial loss. In the end, our faithfulness in handling these matters with integrity will glorify God and deepen our trust in Him.

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